This is what woke me up this morning.
It may have been a music video shot in a back alley with her neighbor’s home video camera but mark my words! She’s going to make it.
Sometimes the ATM in Aguas Calientes, Peru doesn’t like to give out money. Bring enough cash otherwise you will end up crying on a park bench wondering how the hell you’re going to get back to Cuzco.
Not all international superstars are created equal. There are those who sparkle when a sun beam falls upon them or float as though he or she is an angel. Some only need a first name. Others are known for their clothing/perfume/media empires.
Only one has created a space plane. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8400353.stm
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I won’t bore you with claims that Sir Richard stole my idea, nor will I place the blueprints of my own space plane on here to validate the claims I said I wouldn’t bore you with. There’s a more serious matter to discuss.
I am not currently at a place where I have the resources to design my own space plane. And if I can’t create a simple little thing like that, then how am I ever going to be able to teleport back to the time when Atlantis was destroyed so I can rebuild it, rename it Your Mom and then teleport back through time, stopping off in Italy mid-Renassaince period to paint puppies on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and snag the Mona Lisa for my living room? The live one, not the painting. Beat that art snobs!
I have to face reality. I’m just not a big enough superstar to get all that accomplished. Yet.
Which is why, today, I am pleased to announce the launch of The Richard Branson Project, or RBP, for short.
As a mid-level international superstar, the RBP will follow my attempt to enter the upper levels of superstardom by becoming Richard Branson’s friend. Everyone knows the quickest way fame jump is to be friends with someone already at the level you want to be at. Remember how Nicolas Cage helped Johnny Depp by introducing him to his agent? Johnny hopped on the A-List train and never looked back. Kim Kardashian is another fine example. She used to be just another Paris Hilton tag-a-long. Now I don’t even remember what Paris looks like. That’s fame jumping done right.
This is a modest project with achievable goals. All I am looking for is a standing invitation to Necker Island (RB’s private island), a couple of photos ops here and there, a press release in Vanity Fair, People, and the Wall Street Journal about our new friendship, a five minute video interview for this blog, and oh heck, let’s throw in a free ride to space.
I will document my progress when necessary on this blog. I’m fairly confident I will be successful on most, if not all, of my goals.
And if you missed it the first time, check out my soon-to-be favorite vacation spot, Necker Island, on MTV’s Cribs.
Don’t go to work today. When your boss calls to see where you are say, “I don’t get out of bed for less than 10,000 dollars.”
Don’t leave your movie premiere tickets at home.